larrytattoos: i am made up of 1% water and 99% done
sorryforpartybarackin: the best kind of people are the really cute ones that you wanna cuddle and drink hot chocolate and go for walks in the park and watch dumb movies and build blanket forts with but also slam up against a wall and fuck their brains out
snapchatting: my life would probably get 2 notes
Color My Inbox
Deep Red - I’m in love with you. Red - I love you. Pink - I think you’re cute. Blue - You’re amazing. Rose - You’re pretty Purple - You’re hot. Plum - I would fuck you. Violet - I would date you. Aqua - I could stay on your blog for hours. Lavender - You are my tumblr crush. Orange - I want to get to know you. Tangerine - We have a lot in common. Amber - I wish you would notice me. Cream - I...
methlabrador: [tour guide voice] now if i could direct you to your left. then to your right. bring it back now yall
e-zekiel: okay so today I was at the mall and this girl walking in front of me and tripped and fell and instead of helping her up like a normal person would- I decided to make her feel less embarrassed and fall down too but I guess another guy had the same idea because we fell at the same time and then another person fell and another and suddenly I was lying in the middle of an impromptu...
niallshit: if u feel sad right now look at this bunny eating a flower
SLEEPY BOYS ARE THE WORST AND BY WORST I MEAN ABSOLUTE BEST BECAUSE ADORABLE MESSY HAIR AND RASPY VOICES AND POUTY LIPS I JUST CANT DEAL WITH THIS
icoulduseinsouciantmaybe: superhubbys: its gotten to the point where i have to pretend nudity surprises me #OH NO GENITALS WHAT A DISASTER
cheesecurl: i wanna watch a scary movie with you and we get so scared we accidently end up having sex somehow
peasantbutts: if google isn’t your search engine i don’t trust you
illkim: Making you a mixtape
knifefarty: if i had the power to control time i would probably just use it to sleep more
vaspim1fag9392bitch383slut: When I die do the cinnamon challenge with my ashes
ronaldreagay: started from the bottom and i’ve managed to get worse
cristinaya: Shine bright like a washed nintendog
mspgay: snorlaxatives: snorlaxatives: aaaaalrighty-then: snorlaxatives: why is being alive so expensive You spelled “suck” wrong. ??????????????????????????????? i literally can’t even tell what you’re trying to say why is being alive so suck why is being alive suck why is suck suck is being alive so expensive why suck so expensive ?????
i get really uncomfortable when people don’t maximize their browser window
wecameassickcunts: do you just stare at someone’s lips & get a massive urge to just make out with them.
poopflow: cause of death: second hand embarrassment
farrahsfaucet: you dont wanna mess with me i cry easily
a detailed list of people who have a crush on me:
siempre-chill: The internet is so convenient what the fuck should i make for dinner what the fuck should i listen to now what the fuck should i do today what the fuck should i do with my life
snapchatting: i’ve been so annoying all my life why hasn’t anyone shot me yet
diverged: I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months
strawberrydaydreams: do you ever hate someone so much but you don’t even have a valid reason you’re just like no
njena: i think the reason perfume commercials are so weird is because they have to advertise a smell without using smells
mskneesocks: you’re the only one who understands me google
gamsee: my whole life is just “oh ok”
221bec: professionalmisandrist: What if condoms had temporary tattoos on the inside like you rolled off the condom and there was a picture of a dinosaur on your dick
abbysetcetera: Adulthood doesn’t mean you stop drinking juice pouches and eating fruit snacks. It means buying your own.
I pray your brakes go out running down a hill. I pray a flower pot falls from a...– Pray For You (via everyday-hc)